Shutter lines

The shutter tapes on my camera decided, after last being serviced in 1970, to come unhinged. Alas! It's very frustrating trying to find people to fix this in my area.

Fortunately, this problem happened only for the last roll; it looks like some photos will be salvageable. Following is one of the photos that, as far as I can tell, won't be salvageable. Maybe. I rather like the blemish, and if I spent any more thought on it could do something interesting with it.

sketches

Here are some sketches, primarily of me trying to redo how I draw faces. If you're wondering why the eyes aren't there, or sort of are, well, I'm working on them next.

Visualizing Nothingness—Angst, Nausea, and the Overman through Photographs

Even if I'm technically finished with school (until I go back, anyway), it's incredibly satisfying to be finished with a final project and to like it. Following is my "mission statement" (in quotes because the credibility of such a name is dubious to me), the six photographs I used, the quotes that accompanied each photo and the set in general, and several photos showing the whole setup. I realize that sadly perhaps a lot of the context/presence of suspended photos is lost in blog format, but alas.

Why do we find ourselves creating meaning and structure for our world? We may find ourselves, occasionally, wondering why things are set up as they are. Existential philosophers such as Soren Kierkegaard, Friedrich Nietzsche, and Jean-Paul Sartre would challenge the assertion that our world has inherent structure. Indeed, they would suggest that such an assertion is a human fabrication designed to impose meaning and structure on an otherwise senseless world; it is precisely this imposition, however, that takes away our will to act as completely free agents.

The response to knowing one has complete free will and that all structure is meaningless can be overwhelming: Kierkegaard called this Angst, Sartre called it Nausea, Nietzsche classified it as the beginnings of the Overman—the person who has become their own master—and all are reactions to knowing one has complete free will and complete responsibility, all are reactions for when traditional points of reference are exposed as potentially false and taken away.

My purpose for this project, then, is to present the concepts of Angst, Nausea, and the Overman through photography. I intend to explore how the uses of shape, light, shadow, overall contrast, and perspective can create an understanding of these Existentialist concepts. To further aid this endeavor, I am not tacking the photos to the wall—I am, instead, choosing to suspend them in the air. While there is certainly a visual appeal to this choice, it aptly helps to illustrate the idea that we have no restrictions and hang in nothingness. Additionally, quotes from Kierkegaard, Sartre and Nietzsche accompany the photographs to help explain what the Existential undertones are.

Here are a few photos of the display (pardon them being cell phone shots):

 testing to see if the weight of the photos would pull down the hanger wires, plus sign asking the hangers not be removed... which they almost were

 testing, different angle

...and with the quotes

The following are the photos in the display. Some I have posted before, certainly without the intention of using them in the project until I realized that I could use them.

 ...one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. I say unto you: you still have this chaos in yourselves. From Thus Spake Zarathustra, Friedrich Nietzsche (this is a reprint of the accidental double exposure I made. took a while, but I had to get the contrast fixed)

 Once you label me you negate me. Soren Kierkegaard

 What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not an end: what can be loved in man is that he is an overture and a going under. From Thus Spake Zarathustra, Nietzsche

 ...Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom, which emerges when the spirit wants to posit the synthesis and freedom looks down into its own possibility, laying hold of finiteness to support itself. From The Concept of Anxiety, Kierkegaard.

 Your bad love of yourselves turns your solitude into a prison. From Thus Spake Zarathustra, Nietzsche

 Freedom is exile. Jean-Paul Sartre

And, finally, the three quotes I had attached to the wall with the photos as a set. I wanted dearly to use them, because they help give better context to the set of photos and my project, and the last one not only fits the presentation of the photos but is simply beautiful. All are from Sartre:

Existence precedes and rules essence. 

From Being and Nothingness

Life has no meaning, a priori... it is up to you to give it a meaning, and value is nothing but the meaning that you choose. From Being and Nothingness

I exist. It is soft, so soft, so slow. And light: it seems as though it suspends in the air. It moves. From Nausea

鏡/visualizing Angst

One of the purposes (perhaps the purpose, given how things flow into one another) of my project is to try and visually represent Angst. Why I opened my big mouth I might never know, but here's one of the photographs I've chosen.

"Anxiety may be compared with dizziness. He whose eye happens to look down into the yawning abyss becomes dizzy. But what is the reason for this? It is just as much in his own eye as in the abyss, for suppose he had not looked down. Hence, anxiety is the dizziness of freedom, which emerges when the spirit wants to posit the synthesis and freedom looks down into its own possibility, laying hold of finiteness to support itself. Freedom succumbs to dizziness. Further than this, psychology cannot and will not go. In that very moment everything is changed, and freedom, when it again rises, sees that it is guilty. Between these two moments lies the leap, which no science has explained and which no science can explain. He who becomes guilty in anxiety becomes as ambiguously guilty as it is possible to become." Kierkegaard, The Concept of Anxiety p. 61

 By the way, anxiety is the same as Existential Angst, pronounced "ahngst," not "aynkst."

hanging photos, 1

I decided that for Thursday's final I want my photos hanging away from the wall. There were several reasons behind this decision: It's different; It will hopefully help drive home the idea of Nausea/Anxiety and lack of restrictions; It's more interesting this way. All of these reasons are true, one of them is more sound than the others.

Since it would probably be more of a headache than I care for to hang the photos from the lighting rails 10" in the air, I rearranged two wire coat hangers that I can affix to the tops of the padded boards along the walls. I plan on hanging the photos from these wires using fishline and clips:

 Materials I'll use: Leatherman, fishline, electrical tape, binder clips, coat hangers.

Coat hangers, unbent and plied as I'd like them. Each is about 2.5' long.

 

Closeup of ends. I'd prefer not to accidentally tear whatever these might poke into.

Each photo is going to be framed in a white matt(e?), since any other color would be distracting in this case. I'll hopefully get some shots of the finished product, because sometimes I like to show off. Either way, expect a nice long writeup of what the final project is (I believe this is called a "mission statement," but that sends wild thoughts into my head so you can also say it's an attempt at explaining myself), replete with photos of the whole business as well as the actual photos I'm using in the project. So many photos, whatever shall I do.

I'm pretty sure this general project will be an ongoing theme.

Marsh bridge

Bridge in the marshes.

On an unrelated note, I'm wildly disappointed with, um, endings in the final Harry Potter, but enjoyed it overall.

野の花 / 花野

I'm not sure which would be more correct, 野の花 (wildflowers) or 花野 (field full of flowers). In any case, these particular flowers are yerba mansa. They have a very pleasant smell.

I could probably stand to edit this one a bit, but I like it enough to share it. Perhaps though what I need to do is get a macro lens for this camera so I can effectively photograph tiny things.


On the topic of lenses which leads me to the topic of my camera in general, my shutter seems to have decided in the past week to not shutter properly. My entire last roll of film, which I developed today, has a monstrous black line throughout; a repeating row of long triangles plagues it. This saddens me, since I had some lovely photos on it. Happily, though, I can salvage some of the photos, but likely not all of them. Alas.